A Designer in Awe of the First Designer

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Some Lyrics

Typically I write instead of posting things I've found, but I love this song and have to post the lyrics. For any of you Thousand Foot Krutch fans, you probably know it well. It is simply a great song that helps me through rough days.

Lift It Up

Through my temptation to walk away,
and through the endless troubled days,
there's a hundred million ways,
for me to release your praise;
and by and by, and through the tears,
and things you've taught me through the years,
my whole life was designed by you,
I'll never know anyone half as true;

I lift it up, I lift it up,
lift it up so you can see,
I lift it up, I lift it up,
lift it up from inside of me;

So I lift it, I lift it up to you,
and I will never forget,
the times that we've been through,
so I lift it, I said I lift it up to you;
And I surrender all of me,
to you, to you, to you,
and everything I'll ever be,
to you, to you, to you,
and I surrender all of me;

Monday, June 27, 2005

"It's okay to be sad, it's okay to cry." "Don't hide your emotions and say you're having a good day when you aren't."

But that is exactly what I find myself doing. Why? because that is only the "right thing to say" for the person saying it. Because when it comes down to it. When you do show your emtions, when you do shed a tear, are they there for you or find you to be a strange weirdo. My experience is the strange weirdo. "It's okay for a guy to cry." No it isn't, "don't wear your heart on your sleeve." Which is it? What do you want? Am I free to not be okay? Am I truly allowed to be part of the "Emo" crowd and shed an "Emo" tear? Of course not, I'm male, and living in the 21st century. We say one thing to someone but expect the opposit. How dare we be inconvenienced by having to really act on the sympathy and compassion that we say we have for someone. If it is okay to cry, why do you run when the tears come? why does it make you uncomfortable. Why can't I feel God holding me right now? I really want to feel Him holding me..

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Midwest Way of Life

So today Southwest Ohio is on my mind. So much so that it's going through like a movie. I can imagine what the streets and houses I'm passing look like as if in a dream so vivid you wake up thinking it was real. I'm taking mental trips to places. Imagining the drive as if it was a warm sunny day, windows and sunroof open. It's such a vibrant picture that I honestly can't even put it into words. Words aren't my strong point anyway, drawing the picture is. How do u put into words even the little things.. like noticing a porch swing of a house that has a tree in the yard that burns brilliant red in the fall. Driving down 48 and seeing Bills on one side of the street with Marions on the other... realizing.. mmmmmm This may be the best location on the planet as far as food is concerned. I don't know.. I know this isn't a very interesting post. I was hoping it would be, but I can't get out in words what I'm seeing in my mind. It's simply just the stuff I was used to seeing every day. I can still see all of it. Just not with my eyes. As much as sometimes I hate memories and the pain they can bring... Thank you God for giving us memories, cause the good ones far outway the bad.

Monday, June 20, 2005

a week in the quarter century

Well, now that I've been a quarter century old for a week.. I suppose I can inform of how turning 25 went. WELLLLL..... I was in Boston, of course it was great! Friday night Becky, Kristen, and I went out to this lovely little place called the Charley Horse. What the Charley Horse really is.. It is a run down wanna be redheaded stepchild to the glory that is Dave and Busters. Why do I slam this Charley Horse so bad you ask? WELLLLL... let me tell you. I was denied entrance! My Ohio license wasn't good enough for them.. Apparently they can't handle the fact that we aren't idiotic like them and elected Georgy W to a 2nd term. I honestly have decided this is the true reason for my dismissal. However.. they claim they require TWO forms of ID with your birthdate on it if you are using an out of state license.. Has anyone else had this happen? cause I find it crazy.. a second form of ID.. sure.. but with your birthdate?? does anyone even HAVE that? I sure don't.. so.. off down the road we go to a place called castaways. It was a little pricey to get in.. supposedly the cover band was going to be fabulous, and they were ok.. luckily I managed to use my Ninja skillz and slid right in the FRONT door without being charged.. aahh. It's good to be a Ninja. Saturday was a relaxing day in the pool, eating lots of food..mmmmm and Becky took me to a local Christian book store (yes they have one or two in Mass. believe it or not) Where she let me pick out the Study Bible of my choice as my birthday gift. It was a wonderful idea and I've enjoyed it a lot in the past week.

So that was my birthday weekend.. A lot has happened sense then.. Like my stuff from Ohio is finally here!!!! wooohoooo. mt bike! bed! xbox and tv!! yeah baby yeah! So.. when's everyone coming to visit?

Friday, June 10, 2005

Happy Almost Birthday to ME!

Well tomorrow I'll officially be dead center in my mid 20's. I thought I was supposed to stop aging at 22? Whats up with this! Oh well, One year closer to being over the hill.. Luckily that's still a good far ways away. Luckily I get to spend my birthday in Boston. Should be a rather fabulous time I should say. It is Boston after all, once you get past the waving middle fingers, rainbow striped flags, and anti Bush signs, it's really not such a bad place. I mean.. in spite of all that I love Boston, can you imagine how great of a place it would be if those weren't thrown into the mix? oohh, I left out how an 700 sqft. apartment will set u back $1100 a month, silly me.

ANYWAYS, I'll try and remember to post about my trip and birthday once I return on Monday, if I slack off, feel free to yell at me Amy :-P

Thursday, June 09, 2005

Reflection on my Grandpa and Praise

So today at work I'm listening to some old David Crowder, and his music, as usual is leading me into just an amazing soul worship of who God is. So much so that the beauty of God I not only see but feel inside me. Something that I'm sure sounds strange to an unbeliever, but all of my brothers and sisters know exactly what I'm talking about. Well... this led me to think about my grandpa who passed away a little over 3 years ago.

I remember as a young teen watching my grandpa sing hymns. Not only would he just sing hymns, He'd shed tears while he sang them. I really found this as odd at the time. Probably because of growing up in a church where it seemed people couldn't wait for the song service to be done, to finish singing hymns they had been singing over and over for 50 years and got grumpy if they had to stand and sing at the same time... but not my grandpa.. even in his older age when he had a problem standing, He'd still rather get up and stand beside the piano my dad was playing then to sit. He did sit and sing, but he had no problem standing to do it. He wanted to lift his voice up to God.

Well, today, not completely as a new revelation, but definately on my mind.. I see now why my grandpa would cry while singing hymns.. he wasn't just singing, he was praising his creator with his soul. He truly took to heart the beautiful words written down and reflected on God through them. His tears weren't out of sadness, but out of awestruck beauty at who God is. What a wonderful Creator we have, and how much Love HE pours out on us.
Here are the words to the hymn I have listened to hundreds of times, but today when I really meditate on the words and sing them... wow..

All creatures of our God and King, Lift up your voice and with us sing.
O Praise him, hallelujah
Thou burning sun with golden beam, thou silver moon with softer gleam.
O Praise Him, O Praise Him, hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah
Thou rushing wind that art so strong, Ye clouds that sail in heaven along.
O Praise Him, hallelujah
Thou rising moon in praise rejoice, ye lights of evening find a voice.
O Praise Him, O Praise Him, hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah
Let all things our creator bless, and worship Him in humbleness
O Praise Him, hallelujah
Praise Praise the Father, Praise the Son, and Praise the Spirit three in one
O Praise Him, O Praise Him

so simple.. so beautiful. I'm glad Crowder.. and Apex still uses this song in a beautiful contemporary way.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Fun Facts (cures work boredom)

More Monopoly money is printed yearly than real money throughout the world.

Penguins are not found in the North Pole

People photocopying their buttocks are the cause of 23% of all photocopier errors worldwide.

A dentist invented the Electric Chair.

Rudolf the Red-nosed reindeer was actually created as a promotional figure for Montgommery Wards department stores.

Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% Percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

A cockroach can live nine days without its head before it starves to death.

Fish scales are an ingredient in most lipsticks.

Frank Baum, the writer of "The Wizrd of OZ", looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z, hence "Oz."

The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp (marijuana) paper.

On average, every chocolate bar contains at least three insect legs.

Up until the early 20th century, New Jersey and Wisconsin had laws allowing the castration of epileptics

ok.. well I think thats enough for now. back to work I suppose.

Monday, June 06, 2005

da update

Well, I'm in Scranton PA and I suppose I should do some updating. I was reading Amy's blog http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=JCSonflower and she reminded me that I do a rather poor job of updating this.. so this is for you, Amy :-P
I'm trying to be positive about this whole moving thing, but honestly, it's very hard and difficult. I've wanted to pack my stuff back up and go back to Ohio, screw the paycheck and be with the friends and family I love. I try not to think to far into the future.. of how long I'll be here. The truth is, I simply don't know. A year.. two? five?.... 6 months? sweet.. now that I could do. lol.. One thing I know.. don't ever let yourself think relationships aren't the most valuable things to have, other then a relationship with your Savior Jesus Christ of course. Forget cars, houses, plasma screen tv's. It's relationships. Traveling is fun, moving can be exciting.. but there is a bond between believers that when you pull up your roots and move, it hurts and aches like you wouldn't believe. Amy, I'm missing your hugs, Chu, I'm missing your stinkin tv .. oh yeah, i miss chillin with ya without the tv too.. for real. JP, man, I miss just grabbing starbucks and wrestling with the junior highers. Kristi, I miss seeing the 6th graders outgrow you (sorry, had to put it in there), Brandon.. man Brandon.. football season this year is gonna be rough without meeting up at BW's.. and the list can go on and on.. My sister.. I miss encouraging you face to face.. Thank you God for a cell phone.
The good thing.. 8 hours isn't to bad a a trip. I'll see everyon farely often I hope. Everyone is welcome here with open arms, I have a 2 bedroom place, a sofa bed and another sofa.. plenty of space for friends to chill. I'll get pictures of the area up soon when I get a new digi cam. It is a beautiful spot.. and I'll post later about my hike up a mountain that supposedly is bear infested... ;-)